i AM alive

                                                                     
                                             
Today, I realized I'm alive.

Deep eh? Oh well, it just hit me from nowhere.
I guess thanks to not-doing-so-much today here in the office. Haha.

So, back to it. Indeed, I'm alive.
I felt so much today. I'm blessed for having my family, friends, job, skills, etc for without all these, I guess life is dull and dark. Yes, they are the rainbow painted across the blue skies. Naks! :)

Of course, every story is a double-edged sword. Not everything is about positivity and happiness. There is still this sorrow, this pain.

It just dawned upon me today. I remember this one somebody (person) or something (friendship), close to my heart, I hold dear [and whatever else I could think of to describe that mug] ;P

To be safe, let that being described be called 'The Thing'. :)

Again. The Thing came across my mind today. I just felt a little pang of sadness, more of a dismay actually. This is what I hate with expectations; it just gives you unpleasant feelings. Oh well. Normal as I am, I feel.

For the third time, again. Yes, I felt sad because all this time, I thought The Thing would always be there, always around. What adds to this unpleasant feeling is the realization I felt while thinking 'Well, I guess The Thing left nothing for me anymore. The Thing accomplished its mission/job so why bother staying?' That feeling. I just kills me.

Friendship is more than anything. I believe it can surpass anything and strengthen with time. But I guess, this one is an exception. I guess The Thing is not meant to last, it's just a hype, a fever; like fashion, it fades.

What really irritates me is I felt somewhat betrayed? If that's the right term for this. Why? Because I myself treasured those shared moments, the ups and downs of the friendship, the sleepless nights just hanging-around together or over the phone. Just those little stuffs, collected and remembered, piled up into a great friendship. But boom! It was all me. I was the only one saving little treasures. 

Unfair? Well, fairness isn't ruling reality, yeah?

The Thing, for whoever or whatever you may be, thank you for teaching me not to live my life just for something like you. At least, I have all this space, here within in, to be filled with something more worthy to be treasured.

PS. This I write generally speaking with no intention at all directing to one person/thing.

Have a great week everyone! :)